I promised myself 2017 would be the year I put myself first, the year I permanently deleted my Bumble and Tinder accounts and stopped measuring my self worth based on whether a guy liked me or not. True to form, I have yet to put any of these resolutions into practice.

Just the other day I stayed up into the wee hours of the morning frantically searching Google for answers to my latest dating dilemma: the “breadcrumber.” A close relative to the “ghoster,” or someone who stops responding to texts and calls out of nowhere, the breadcrumber is the guy who maintains a girl’s interest by putting in the bare minimum amount of effort. Case in point is Taylor, with whom I slept with over two weeks ago now. Since our night of drunken passion he has initiated text conversations on several separate occasions only to take another 48 hours to respond again.

Meanwhile, on the sidelines he continues to heart each and every single one of my Instagram posts. And I don’t tread lightly with the selfie uploads. “How to know when a guy is playing hard to get” and “Is he interested in me?” now sadly reign at the top of my recent search history.

But, if there’s anything I’ve learned about dating in the past year, it’s that whomever cares the least wins. So I bite my tongue and refrain from calling him out on his behavior. “Forget him,” my friends tell me. “Men should be the accessories, not the entire outfit.” I agree in the moment, but back in the safety of my home I resume my Facebook stalking. Don’t message him, don’t message him, don’t message him is the mantra which plays on a continuous loop in my head.

Will I text him tomorrow though? Most likely, yes.
​And will I regret it immediately afterwards? Yes again.